I sometimes see world through tinted glasses and forget the joys to be experienced by the five senses.  Thoughts chaotically swim through my head with no rhyme or reason and eventually I need to tell myself to just breathe.  Worries plague me on a daily basis when they are minimal in the larger scope of things, often the same obsessive thoughts that months from now will no longer matter.  So I tell myself to observe without judgment, and to breathe.

 

Breathe in, breathe out.

 

Open up your eyes.  Admire the vast greenery that constantly surrounds you and gives you oxygen to breathe.  Observe the vast blue sky and the swirling clouds that bring life giving rain.  Watch the birds as they toil and make their nests-remember how your Father above takes care of them.  Marvel at the beauty of a girl’s face and how she can melt your heart with a soft smile.  See with fascination the radiant colors of the flowers in the field, and think about how the clothes of the richest man in the world can’t compare.  And remember to…

 

Breathe in, breathe out.

 

Open up your ears.  Hear the whistling wind as it stretches across the plains.  Listen to the birds as they sing their songs of territory and call out to the ladies.  Let the mighty orchestra roll over you as they play their complex rhythms.  Allow the songwriter’s voice to tug at your heart as he sings of his love, whether it is deeper than the ocean or more painful than disease.  As the children laugh remember a time where the world was a playground.  When a girl chuckles, let it flow through your veins and tickle your funny bone.  Admire the poets as they dream and make their words dance.  And don’t forget to…

 

Breathe in, breathe out. 

 

As you breathe, take note of the earth’s aroma.  The smell of fresh cut grass, the sweet scent of roses, the alluring pull of perfume.  A home cooked meal made with love.  The fresh smell of the rain.  This makes it worth it to…

 

Breathe in, breathe out.

 

Let your taste buds tingle.  See how they respond to what is sweet, salty, bitter, and sour.  Mom’s freshly baked pie.  A bowl of cashews.  A fresh cup of coffee.  A glass of lemonade.  Savor it, and…

 

Breathe in, breathe out.

 

Let your senses captivate you.  Feel the sun’s warmth on your face.  Take note as the wind brushes your cheeks.  Feel the rain on your skin (thanks Natasha).  Notice the tingle when someone scratches the small of your back.  Feel the warmth and security when hugging a loved one-a friend, a family member, a lover.  And lastly, always remember to…

 

Breathe in, breathe out.

 

I am living one day at a time, and I am enjoying one moment at a time.

I have, for the past 10 years or so, lived with something that can be compared to a headache, a migraine perhaps.  The nature of what it is I have contended with is too personal to be disclosed on an impersonal blog.  I like the analogy, though.  A headache makes it hard to concentrate, to focus, hard to be yourself.  The simplest of tasks become an intense challenge.  I was fortunate to make it through college, but I crawled to graduation panting and limping (metophorically speaking...).  And now, well, I finally have come to a point where I'm tired of the pain the migraine has brought.  So I am confronting it.  And, as the symptoms are alleviated and I gain balance, I believe my focus will be sharper and my quality of life greater. 

I read an interesting article about being melancholy today.  I don't know if I agree with all of it.  I can say, though I'm pretty laid back for the most part, I have strong melancholic tendencies.  I suppose this is evidenced by the black background of this site. 

I wonder if I'll ever find genuine contentment
Or if I will always be questioning life in melancholic moods which will manifest itself in traveling, writing, and music. 

I wonder if there will always be a degree of restlessness in my soul
That won't find its home
Until the day I rest in peace forever
I don't know
But I believe in hope.

I hate reading movies or watching movies that fill me with a sense of dread and hopelessness.  I hate it when the good guys lose, the bad guys win, the guy doesn't get the girl, and all is lost.  When I flirt with quality works of art outside of this realm, I'm usually glad for the experience, but would not turn to this when I feel my own life falling apart some Monday night at 8 pm. 

Perhaps instead of escaping these feelings with cartoons like I usually do, maybe I should embrace these feelings and let it all out.  Maybe something truly beautiful could come of it, maybe something that others would admire.  If I create, I want to give the audience a sense of hope when the night is over.  Yes, there are tragedies in life, and emotions can be strong over something as small as a crush.  But there is light at the end of the tunnel.  Though not every story resolves, and I'm not sure where my path is leading me, when the day is done and I close my eyes, I have a sense that somehow, someway, everything will be alright.